Saturday, 4 June 2011
Thoughts on Sad Times
I’m sure it must seem odd to some people that I continue to make my life, thoughts and feelings public by publishing two kinds of posts on my blog regularly. I like that there are so many people back home who care about me and want to know not just where I am and what I’m doing but also how I am doing. There are times when something happens and I wonder if I should post or not. On one hand it goes against my nature to be half assed about this blogging thing by hiding things from you all. On the other hand sometimes things happen in my life that aren’t really my story to tell. I also dislike to post when I’m feeling down as I know those feeling will pass and well, no-one likes a sad face now do they? The thing is I like sharing my life with you and so (as I have in the past) I have decide to post on this difficult subject; besides my usual post will be delayed this week and I’d like you to know why.
Last weekend a friend of mine passed away. I hadn’t known him long. We met in Sydney at the hostel and have a few friends in common. He was English and we had a similar sense of humour, in other words we mostly communicated in sarcasm. I didn’t know him long or as well as most but I knew him well enough to know he was one of the good ones and it’s not fair he’s gone too soon. I knew him long enough to see that he was living his life to the full and for him to remind me that life isn’t a spectators sport. He was a good guy and a mate and I feel for his family and friends who don't deserve this.
As for me, well it’s one of those times when the distance kinda sucks but I’ve been ok. I’ve thought of him often this week and of course I can’t help but be reminded of my own situation and of Josh’s friends and family back home. I’ve been sad, but more for the people he has left behind whose lives will never be the same. The family here have been great. They know about Josh and I think they’ve been keeping an eye on me but I don’t need it. I really am ok. I’m a little bit sadder than usual but even with this fresh grief I find I can keep it separate from my day to day. I’m not sure if that makes me cold or maybe a little schizophrenic but to me it says I’m going to be ok and in fact one day I’m going to be great, just not this week. I’ll post my goings on from last week in a few days. I’ve been busy and as usual not just fruit picking but for now I’ll finish by saying: Sam, find a tall jewish looking guy with a big nose and make him get you a drink on me x